The Fuck Them Waiting Room™

Sip.
Don’t Send.

For anyone who’s said their piece—and is ready to come back to themselves. Humor, practical reflection, and room to choose what comes next.

Take a seat
Sip. Don’t Send. tea mug beside a notebook on a pink counter
Tea first. Text later.No reply required.
A little humor✳A little breathing room✳A lot more you

Welcome. We saved you a seat.

You’ve explained.
You’ve refreshed.
You’re exhausted.

This is a place to pause when relationship stress has you drafting one more message, checking one more time, or putting your whole day on hold.

Bring your feelings. Keep your sense of humor. You can care deeply about someone and still spend the afternoon living your own life.

The waiting room is a pause. You don’t have to move in.

The practice behind the punchline

State. Ask.
Observe. Decide.

Tell the truth. Make a clear request. Let another adult choose. Then decide what you will do with the information you have.

01

State

Name what happened and how it affected you. Keep the relevant facts; leave guesses about motives at reception.

02

Ask

Ask for something specific when there is something to ask. A request leaves room for another person’s answer.

03

Observe

Put down the shovel. Notice what is said, what is done, and whether follow-through becomes a pattern.

04

Decide

Choose your next step or boundary using what actually happens. Your life doesn’t need to stay on hold.

The pause is a choice, not a rule against speaking. Send necessary information. Respond to genuine repair. Take protective action when needed. You don’t have to wait indefinitely—or earn care by finding perfect words.

Alfred is at reception

Before you press send,
check in with you.

Our resident voice of reason has a gentle nudge for your next five minutes. No perfect composure required.

A note from reception

“Put the phone down. Make your tea. What do you need that you can give yourself right now?”

Take what helps. Leave what doesn’t.

After hours at the waiting room

Frequently asked by a blinking cursor.

I just thought of the PERFECT thing to say. Can I send it?

Madam, that sentence is why this facility was built.

Draft it somewhere outside the message box. Then ask: is this new, necessary information, or another attempt to produce the response I want?

They haven’t replied in two hours. What does it mean?

It means they haven’t replied in two hours.

You can notice the silence without declaring its motive. Repeated nonresponse can still matter; observe the pattern and decide what works for you.

I only want to send ONE sentence.

Our records indicate your “one sentence” frequently travels with several companion paragraphs.

One sentence can help you stay focused. It isn’t a quota. Use the words the situation needs, then notice whether more explanation is serving your goal.

They replied. Is everything repaired?

Reception acknowledges the delivery. Management is still reviewing the contents.

Read the actual words. You can appreciate an acknowledgment while the injury remains unresolved. Look for responsiveness, changed behavior, and follow-through.

What do I do while waiting?

Live your life. The waiting room has no overnight accommodations.

Choose one thing that belongs to you: tea, a walk, a task, a friend, or a plan. Set a time to review your next step rather than checking continuously.

Who is Alfred?

An imaginary British employee with a very real shovel-check policy.

Alfred is a humor character. These answers are written prompts, not a live chat or professional advice.

Stories from management

The jokes.
And what’s underneath.

Adapted from Kimber’s original Waiting Room episodes. Read the story, visit Alfred’s Notes, and take one small practice with you.

Episode 01The Waiting Room Is Born

I discovered one of my special talents: believing that the right words, one more question, or perhaps Exhibits A through Q could finally make another person understand me.

“Apparently that’s not how humans work. Rude.”

After saying what I needed to say, my brain immediately suggested another paragraph. The Waiting Room became somewhere to put that urge while I let another adult make their own choice.

Comfortable seating. Complimentary shovel-check. Ginger beer and tonic. A sign reading: YOUR EXHIBITS HAVE ALREADY BEEN ENTERED INTO EVIDENCE.

Alfred’s Notes

The move is to stop treating another explanation as a way to control someone else’s response. A boundary guides what you do with their choices. For Kimber, staying alcohol-free was part of that practice; everyone is welcome here.

Try this

Write down what you have already stated and requested. What would count as follow-through? Choose one thing to do for yourself while you observe.

Episode 02After Hours at the Waiting Room

The cursor blinks. The perfect follow-up arrives. It brings three companion paragraphs and a screenshot.

“No Mind-Reading Policy, Section 4, Paragraph: For Fuck’s Sake.”

Reception accepts drafts. It does not require immediate transmission. Feelings are welcome; every feeling does not need to become another message.

Alfred’s Notes

The joke invites a pause between an urge and a choice. Separate what you know from what you fear it means. Timing alone cannot tell you someone’s intentions.

Try this

Make two short lists: what happened, and what I’m imagining it means. Choose your next step using the first list while holding the second as uncertainty.

Episode 03The One Sentence Experiment

Someone described a painful decision as though hearing about it had caused the injury. Instead of the annotated fourteen-paragraph explanation, Kimber corrected one distinction.

“Your disclosure wasn’t the injury. Your choice was.”

An acknowledgment followed. She received it without claiming that everything was fixed: “Appreciated, I’m still sitting with the injury itself.”

Alfred’s Notes

A concise correction helped in this interaction. It does not prove that shorter messages always produce empathy. The other person supplied their own acknowledgment; receiving it did not require declaring the rupture repaired.

Try this

Find the central point you want to communicate. State it clearly, then allow a response. If acknowledgment comes, notice it without overstating what it resolves.

Episode 04When the Adaptive Child Gets the Phone

In Kimber’s humorous application of Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy, the five losing strategies are being right, controlling your partner, unbridled self-expression, retaliation, and withdrawal.

“Apparently I have been conducting independent field research.”

Being right: the screenshot presentation. Control: explaining until the answer changes. Unbridled expression: sending every thought. Retaliation: trying to deliver your pain to someone else. Withdrawal: disappearing instead of communicating a pause.

Alfred’s Notes

Use the concepts as a mirror for your own response. Facts and unequal responsibility still matter. Taking space or leaving a harmful situation is not automatically a losing strategy. The useful question is what your next action will accomplish.

Try this

Ask: am I trying to express a need, protect myself, force an outcome, or punish? Choose an action that serves your need without trying to manufacture the other person’s response.

The five losing strategies and Adaptive Child concepts are attributed to Terry Real and RLT. This is Kimber’s informal application, not an official RLT course or affiliation.

Original episode writing © 2026 Kimber Jenkins. These public adaptations omit private correspondence and identifying relationship details.

Wear the reminder. Keep the pause.

The waiting room collection.

COMING SOON
Sip.
Don’t Send.

The tea mug

A little reminder between your hands and your phone.

No
Mind-Reading
Permitted.

The everyday tee

The reception policy, now available for your everyday wardrobe.

Your exhibits
have already
been entered
into evidence.

The exhibits notebook

Some words need somewhere to go before you decide where they belong.

Our first collection is in the works. These are design concepts; ordering isn’t open yet.

Take the practice with you

A field guide.
For the next blinking cursor.

The Waiting Room Field Guide

A free, printable reminder of the four steps, the no-mind-reading policy, and the difference between connection and repair. No email required.

Open the free field guide
IN DEVELOPMENT

The Waiting Room Workbook

Original reflection pages and exercises for saying what matters, observing behavior, and choosing your next step.

FUTURE OFFERING

Workshops and group conversations

Time to practice together, with humor and a clear purpose. Format, scope, dates, and pricing will be announced before booking opens.

From Kimber & Sophiee

A shared joke.
A place to land.

The Fuck Them Waiting Room™ grew out of friendship, relationship frustration, and a much-needed sense of humor.

We’re building a space for people of every gender to feel less alone, find a little perspective, and reconnect with themselves. Alcohol-free or not, you’re welcome here. Our preferred sip? Tea.

Merchandise first. Workshops and group conversations are part of what we hope to build next.

“You’ve said your piece.
Now come back to yourself.”

Your life is still happening

The reply can wait.
You have a day to live.

Start small. A cup of tea. A walk. A friend. One thing that belongs to you.

Visit reception

A first-collection concept from the Fuck Them Waiting Room™. Final designs, sizes, prices, and launch details are still to come.

Ordering isn’t open yet. Thanks for taking a look around.